After Three Straight Night Outs

After three nights of going out (going out = eating, partying, coffee, just sitting, eating, chatting, coffee, and more eating, and more coffee), I am stuck in front of the pc. And I am stuck by choice. Just uploaded 300+ pics from going out on the 26th, 28th, 29th, and 30th.

I am really tired. Perspectives do change when you grow up. Before, the Christmas break was just a so-so vacation time for me. Now, I party hard, because these are times that shouldn't be missed. Take for example my night out with my HS buddies. We didn't "party" as hard as before, but we endured the night till dawn. It's been 4 long years that we haven't seen each other. Well, they see one another, it's just that I live and work in the mountains (and I'm proud of it).

2007 is about to close in 5 hours time and here are my new year's resolutions. And I mean them!


1. Spend less time with Renji. He's taking too much of my time.



2. Lose weight and run more. Already bought some more running apparel


3. Prepare for my MS. January is the deadline for applications.


4. Be more industrious in cleaning up H6.


5. Spend less and save more.


And I think that's it. Five major things I need to do for 2008.

More Gadgets = More Busy [Non-techie Readable]

(I dunno if I should put sic after "More Busy", since busier is the gramatically correct word to use.)

DS = Nintendo Dual Screen gaming console
SD = Secure Digital card, used in most phones now. MicroSD = smaller SD.
USB = Universal Serial Bus. Most of you guys are familiar with USB. PCs have USB ports for printers, computer mice, and other peripherals.

Ok.
Yeah, been busy lately. Not with work. Not with my "usual extracurriculars" either.
Been busy with "Renji". Renji is my new crimson/black DS, hence the name (watch Bleach for the reference).



Just what are the things I did with Renji?
1. Installed 20+ games with my 2G microSD card. Nintendogs, Bleach, and Zelda take a lot of my time.
2. Since I have a Revolution 4 DS (R4DS) cartridge, I play my fave music with Renji too. (Who said PSP can only do it?)
3. I bought a new (DS) bag. Not only for Renji, but for all my other gizmos. It currently "houses" Renji, my camera, my phone, the charger of my DS, charger for the cam's batteries, USB for microSD, my USB flash disk, SD card for microSD, R4DS cartridge, and USB cable for my cam.

Since, I am too in to Renji now (nyaks, parang lovers), I'm gonna jog with Ton later at 5pm. I think more of non-DS activities will ought to balance out things.

Tomorrow's gonna be ICS' Christmas party from 1-4. Crusade's Christmas party is also gonna be tomorrow at 6.

Our family day out is on Saturday. Planning to watch movie or/and shop, and eat. Dunno where though. Could be Gateway, Greenhills, or Libis. Or combibations of those places.

Christmas Service on Sunday at 9. And Church Christmas party at 5, same day.

No Encrypts

This piece has no encrypts, no rhymes.
Decided to write this right now because I'm tired.
Tired of crying, tired of waiting, tired of performing my duties and even more.
Although, I know after this, or even right now, I am crying, I am waiting, and performing my duties to a deeper extent.Some, duties that I don't even need to fill.
I volunteered to fill those spots (yes, that's with an s, in plural form) because I saw the urgency to have them filled. I'm a teacher alright.
I don't have kids yet. But being the eldest in a house of five makes me a dad. Well, that's what I think. I'm a dad alright.
I don't have kids yet. But being the teacher of sixteen students and overseeing them in an outside school activity makes me a dad. Well, that's what I think. I'm a dad alright.

To you, whom I want to reach but I can't because you wouldn't want me to... Three dots is what I leave.

To you, who just passed by after descending the stairs, and saw me standing by the first door... I'm taking it slow. It breaks me, but that I gotta accept. Healing isn't easy, yeah I know.

To you, whom I always count on. I know you're praying for me. Though our communication is less, I know we're still accountable to each other. Sorry for all the rants. I wasn't even able to ask your needs. How selfish of me...

To you who doesn't even reply and continues on coming in at nights, mornings even, I don't know what to do. Is your smile a mask or your words a curtain?

To You who hear me out always. I know You are hearing out. I know that Your pain is greater than mine.

This piece has no encrypts, no rhymes.

Shoreline

Tuesday before the Wednesday that marked the 30th,
My heart jumped upon your reply.
I saw land, but it was no easy swim.
Exhaustion from 210 days and nights before this shoreline.

On that dawn before the night of frost, my feet touched sand.
Yes, I know things are hard to mend. Have pondered that in the sea.
Yet, the Cross is Mighty, He should be praised.
Fix came on Week 30.

As I write, no more I could add.
I should stop counting weeks, I've reached the shore.
I still pray, we can bring it back, or even more.
Fix came on Week 30.

some snippets

1. I colored the 4 albums of the 4 LTI days light blue, orange, yellow, and pink. Yes, the 4 LTI colors for this year (well, at least the shirts show them).

2. Masipag akong maglagay ng caption. Imagin 5 hours ako naguupload, nageedit at naglalagay ng caps sa 500+ pics.

3. Superstar si Polar Bear. Gayundin sina FTJ, Jay Manalo, Smokey Manoloto, Yakult Malay boy, Paris Hilton, at Deither Ocampo. Pero matindi ang pagkakapanalo ni Ton as Jay Manalo.

4. Hindi ganon kalamig sa Tagaytay. Pero malamig sa CDC.

5. Ang galing ng boses ng mga taga-CAP. Veveng, Donna, Amen, Carol, Eugi (tama ba spelling?) at Vincent.

6. Si Jeft ay parang Shaolin maglaro ng Ultimate.

7. Friendly daw ako. I beg to differ. Wehe.

8. May mas sasanguine pa ba kay Josh ng ADMU?

9. Grabe ang impact ng LTI. With everyone on fire.

10. Ang gugulo ng mga leadership. Baka wala ng leadership next LTI. wehe.

11. Bibo ng Marasigan brothers. Bagging 1 separate award each and one joint award.

12. Masaya siguro sa Davao. Kailangan na mag-ipon.

13. Masaya laruin ang foxes and sheep na game pag marami, at ang category game pag may prize.

14. This is the best LTI ever.

I always commit the mistake of not writing my toughts when they come at me.
I made a mistake, twenty eight weeks ago, alright. I made a piece about the twenty seventh beacuse my heart was heavy; the sorrow still lingers. The sorrow still lingers, coming back at nights, coming back at days. Nights while I pray; days while I teach. Yes, I teach "youngsters", yet I still haven't completely taught myself. Of course, I know, teaching myself is no business of mine... there's Someone I need to learn from. Someone who calms my tempest, Someone who calms the seas. I always await for the day that I see some shoreline from this sea that I'm in. In that great network I said people only see my shore; oceans hold the deepest trenches. In that great network you perfectly describe how I always feel. Those haunting nights and days when I remember. My grief remains even if I conceal it. I tried to conceal my grief this last high tide with our mentor.Yet, I wasn't good at it. My grief showed, alright. That time was the hardest. I didn't know the signs. Is it a sign of a fix coming soon, or a fix coming never? By the time the day of confrontation comes I hope I recognize the signs when they come at me.
I always commit the mistake of not writing my toughts when they come at me.
You watched my tribute. You haven't read Week 27.

Week 27

Restless, my heart can't find its quiet.
Twenty seventh week is one week more than a half year.
It has been long, but few had been my outlet;
Less riddles in this piece, yet, some points may still be unclear.

It's not about me, it's about you, this coming Wednesday;
Wednesday it was, 27 weeks ago upon this Wednesday of yours.
A gaze is hard to do, a word is hard to say.
Inward is chaos, even if the outward seems just a normal course.

"Abba", I call, I pray that you are alright... standing.
I've left a deep scar, mine is a bleeding wound.
I pray you're doing fine, it's right that I'm suffering.
What would happen? A fix coming never or a fix coming soon.

I remember, I'm not certain since my sight then was poor.
Was running, blisters in the making, your group then saw me.
Your group jeered, thought I heard your voice too, I'm not sure.
I hope you did, I hope I was able to clearly see.

But I recall too, moments of same magnet poles.
The night before our mentor's Day; some night before Five Candles.
Bullet of indifference. A bleeding wound in my soul.
Nights I pray, this unquiet heart to hush, uneasy heart to handle.

It's not about me, it's about you, this coming Wednesday;
A gaze is hard to do, a word is hard to say.
Restless, my heart can't find its quiet.
It has been long, but few had been my outlet.
Don't know when you'll read this, don't know if you'll ever do.
I pray you're alright, I pray this message of mine you'll get.

Case 1: No classes --> Pain in the ass
HS: No classes = yipee!
College: (well at least for me as a college student), spells make-up classes
Instructors: "My schedule's torn!!! X( "

It's a good thing I scheduled the submission of exercises on Wednesday next week. But still, my Thursday classes will suffer for the lack of preparations for next Friday's exams.

Case 2: Online rants
To make the long story short:
It came to me that my CMSC 150 lab classes are nearing their end. This was when my roommate, Sir Dulds, told me about the ongoing thread in yupielbi.org
Under one thread entitled "Worst subject ever"in the acads topics of the forums, CMSC 150, which I am teaching right now, was one of the most popular answers. Some were having a hard time, some hated the subject, some both. What caught my attention? This certain post:

sa ngayon cmsc150, olats na olats ako dun. T__T di ako marunong magprogram sa yacas! ~__~ - "Buknoy"

...
I clicked on Buknoy, and voila, user Buknoy's info was listed down... He is a current student of mine.
What made the series of events more intense was when I saw him in the ICS corridors the same afternoon...

(heart beat** heart beat**)

Trouble for Buknoy? Nah.... read on...

Of course, as a teacher, it hurts to see such comments. What made me not loose my cool when I was scanning the forums was the date of Buknoy's post: Aug 08 2006, 10:56PM. Yes, he posted the entry last year, and he is a second taker of the course.

Nothing happened when I saw him. I just confirmed that it was his post and that he posted it last year. No harm done.



Sure there'll be an action point in my part to check who knows and who doesn't. Perhaps a special lab exercise customized specially for every individual student... Yeah, that'll do.

13/100

Out of the 100 students I teach in 4 CMSC 150 sections (D-1L, EF-1L, EF-3L, EF-4L), here's the list of the 13 that passed the 1st Exam. Kudos to you guys. Keep it up!

Rank(No. of people sharing rank)	Passer :)	Section	Score/75
1.5(2)	Kevin Palis	D-1L	57
4(3)	Melody Monterona	EF-4L	55
4(3)	Marie Yvette De Robles	EF-4L	55
4(3)	Roland Avelino	EF-4L	55
8(1)	Jeriel Paul Abayon	EF-4L	53
9(1)	Micael Andrei Diaz de Rivera	EF-1L	52
10(1)	Marciano San Diego	D-1L	51
12(3)	Patrick Dominic Menorca	EF-4L	49
15(3)	Emyrson Aragon	D-1L	48
15(3)	Alicia Balba	D-1L	48
17.5(2)	Maggie Mae Roxas	EF-1L	47
21(5)	Arrianne Joy Marteja	EF-1L	46
24(1)	Mary Grace Tagapan	EF-4L	45

Sensei Story # 1
Message from my sensei, shadas. Sensei, as in my sensei in a ninja rpg in the web:
"as your sensei I have to tell you, you're training yourself all wrong. you don't have to go to arena and do battle to get yourself strong, if you practice that way you'll get strong very slowly. what you want to do is focus all your chakara and stamina training into one offensive and then all the other defense and just train like mad and get your base stats like str int spd and will up, you want to do missions to get ur base stat up. going to arena only give you unwanted experience that's all. do like I say and you won't appear weak when facing off against opponent who has the same experience level as you."

Well, as he puts it, my experience pts are already higher than his, but my stats are nowhere near his. Still can't make up my mind which of ninjutsu, genjutsu, and weapon skills should I train for as my primary offensive skill. Which of the three? Mmmm.. hard choice, but as you notice, taijutsu is off my list.

Sensei Story # 2
Tentative schedule

MON 10-1 CMSC 150; 1-4 CMSC 150
TUE 4-7 CMSC 57
WED 1-4 CMSC 57
THURS 1-4 CMSC 150; 4-7 CMSC 150

As Ma'am Marge tells me, I should expect a lot of prerogs for my tuesday class. I'm happy that I got the subjects that I wanted. Seems like I would be teaching sophomores to senior students. And together with the excitement, a bit of unease also starts to cripple in - I'll be teaching UP students afterall. Wanted to clean our room, but with the online registration, our room would already be competing with YouTube's hits if it were a website. I wanna enjoy teaching. I don't want to fall short of the students' expectations of me. Not that I'm a people pleaser, and not that I don't expect to receive rants and negative comments.. it's just that I don't want to end up mumbling to myself "if only". I don't want to fall short of the department's expectations. I don't want to fall short of my expectations. I don't want to fall short of His expectations.

Sensei Story # 0
He stands by me and holds me even if I don't feel of His presence or clarity of His directions. Head knowledge is nothing without application.

Hairstrands of Fleeting Memories

1. 40% sp completion
2. my mom arrived from ksa
3. pitch black
4. recurring snapshots of drowning
5. trying to hear Him after 22 revolutions around the sun
6. disneyland tours and resort stay anyone?
7. disneyland no paradise
8. glorious with expats all around
8. best sp nomination
9. 10 meters, 1st since pitch black
10. great march on the grand lawn
11. the tiger roars
12. revealed crack on the weak foundation
13. foundation and light back to roots
14. church visit at last
15. foundation plastered? not so. light ever fighting
16. the lion roars
17. all my sons and all the drama
18. decision towards noble paths
19. my mom went back to ksa
20. invasion of the high-tech hallway
21. 2-3 meters, 2nd after pitch black
22. calloused heart

tomorrow: shaving the callus, that i claim, yet not in a day... not in a day, but in all of yet to come. that is what i hope.

Sick Carousel

I remember describing my style in writing, "I write some time after my emotions have subsided. Yes, I do put in a lot of myself to what I write, but I do not add clues explicitly. Knowing me through my writing is always something that my readers need to figure out."

This post is different from the others, since as I started to compose this entry, I've just finished wiping off my last tear, and holding off another one not to fall as I finish off this sentence (but I'm smiling now). I've listened to Skillet's "Angels Fall Down" to heighten my mood, and is currently listening to Superchic[k]'s "I Belong To You" to keep the pace.

I am a very careful person. I think whether what I should do is right, even when the path that I will tread is already the obvious right direction to take. So before writing this one, I battled it out in my mind... I will just sound insane by saying these things now, by writing things that will be vague to the readers, by telling people what kind of person I am, yet deviating from his own description with his own writing that gave his readers his self-perception. All the same, I feel good now.

I hate the fact that I have my own personal evils. Yes, I am a very careful person. And being careful and being selfish are not non-mutually exclusive events. I am careful, yet at times, most of the times, I am selfish. Selfish enough to abandon the right path to take, selfish enough to forget my identity that many people know as the identity I profess. I hate it... raising my white flag, when I have not yet geared out for the usual battle in my mind that should already be instinctly embedded in me. I hate forgetting The Cross.

Cyclical. That's what I hate. I just remember my defeat when the damage has already been done. When my friends and my immediate support group come rushing in to my side. Again, I battle out in my mind, "Am I writing this because I hate being cyclical?", "Am I doing this to feed my eccentric nature?" I think I already know the answer. And putting the previous sentence lessens the drama. Ha, I sound insane alright. Then so be it. I hate this cycle. I am eccentric, but not the reason for this one. And I am insane. Rather be that than selfish.